it’s so weird because my life has like two sides
like theres this one side from when i went to school in maryland and everyone was liberal and artsy and like open to any ideas and alternative education and nature and are getting jobs in hipster cafes and getting roles in the local dinner theater and having cute hippie marriages in the woods
but then there’s the side which is my entire family and basically everyone where i live now who are all religious and republican and catholic and stuff and theyre taking care of their future and applying to virginia tech and like having guns n shit
and like
its confusing to go on facebook
fun fact i can’t stand libraries and library books they all feel so stale
i can’t even properly explain why because i love books, but something about reading a book and then putting it right back is so dissatisfying to me. and the hush hush of being in a whole building where people give you funny looks for whispering too loudly or accidentally burping makes me antsy and claustrophobic. and all the books are covered in shitty crinkly plastic with tacky colored stickers covering up the publishers name and there are gross crumbs in the pages and other people’s dna rubbed on the edges and eww
i just much prefer bookstores.
fun fact: when i was about twelve my family called me the female jim carrey because i did really good impressions of old people and stupid people and was good at making dumb faces
people generally like me because im super nice irl and im quiet when i first meet people so theres not much about me to disagree with, but i dont really make friends that often
its a rare thing if someone’s getting me to talk and we really get on
if i ever get murdered i hope my killer dumps my body in the ocean because that sounds like a much nicer place to be left than in the dry, still, solid earth. also i hope its a rainy day because thats when the ocean is the prettiest.
when i’m angry i get quiet and a bit nasty and very sarcastic
you’ve touched upon a really special level of angry for me when i start shouting at you, which is a rare thing
things you should never do to me unless you want me to fuck your face the fuck up:
- put words in my mouth
- laugh at me when i’m upset
- tell me what emotion you think i’m feeling
I just don’t even know if I want to get married or have babies or do anything like that
I want to be a nomad and travel everywhere and just travel around with any partner that I like at the time
maybe I’ll get a job dancing on a cruise ship and be on the water all the time and bed all the hot guests and wow that would be great.
There’s a girl at my studio who wants to go to Julliard but she can’t really do as many classes as she would like, so one of the teachers offered to give her a free half hour of technique to help her advance. Somehow it got passed on to my friend Blayne, or maybe Blayne offered to do it or something idk, and since I come in early on Mondays because my sister has a class, I would go in and assist. Well now Blayne doesn’t come in on Mondays anymore, so I’m basically teaching this half hour class and then assisting in a jazz class for an hour after that.
Its weird and scary and it makes me feel old. And also I’m constantly terrified that the girls hate me or think I’m boring. But I love assisting and I’m thinking I would actually be happy in a teaching job as long as I was still dancing. Probably only for teens though. I don’t think I could ever teach children.
one time when i was like 8 i was running down the stairs with a pencil and i stabbed myself in the upper thigh on accident and the lead is still in there and it’s a little gray dot so i guess you could say i have a tattoo in a secret spot winky face
i used to hate cameron diaz but then i had a dream that i married her but i wasnt in love with her and i didnt want to break her heart and now i have like this weird soft spot for her where if a movie she’s in is on tv i have to watch it and like i love her mannerisms and her voice now
I’m naturally really reckless and careless with everything. It’s difficult for me to take care of or remember things.
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When I found dance, I found myself.
Like 99.9 percent of the time I don’t even realize that I’m gap toothed. Then I look in the mirror and occasionally I remember that most peoples front teeth touch each other.
